Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A Refined Sense of the Ridiculous

[[L A U G H A B L E]] * If you can’t make fun of the Bushies, who can you make fun of? I mean, yeah, they’re such easy targets, with their shifting rationales for warring on Iraq, their transparent deceptions about how they couldn’t have predicted levee breaches in Louisiana or that terrorists would use hijacked airplanes as missiles, and their sordid attempts now to exploit the Hurricane Katrina recovery effort to restart GOP pushes for school vouchers and business tax incentives. But that doesn’t reduce the delights to be had in making fun of the most embarrassing U.S. administration since Richard M. Nixon’s.

It seems the sly wits over at agree. This two-year old Austin, Texas-based company is “the brain-child of brothers John and Tim Bayhnam,” according to a backgrounder on the site, with illustrator John responsible for “all of the designs.” Although the Bayhnams claim to be “equal opportunity offenders,” their best products so far poke fun at the “Bush League Disaster Response Team” and the White House’s ludicrous complaints about the “blame game” spawned by legitimate questions about why help was so slow in reaching hurricane victims and what that dilatory response says about government preparations for an attack by terrorists, rather than Mother Nature. There are also designs (on T-shirts as well as sweatshirts, hats, mousepads, and coffee mugs) poking fun at FEMA, the skyrocketing costs of gasoline, and conservative assaults on National Public Radio. Check ’em out.

And if you’re still in a mood to laugh at Bush’s America, rather than cry, here’s an excerpt from the Web site of Bill Maher, TV humorist, political commentator, and author of the recent book New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer:

New Rule: America must recall the president. That’s what this country needs. A good, old-fashioned, California-style recall election! Complete with Gary Coleman, porno actresses and action film stars. And just like Schwarzenegger’s predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so unpopular, he must defend his jog against ... Russell Crowe. Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let’s have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice-president!

Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you anymore. There’s no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit card’s maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

Now, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying that there’s so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in ... Please don’t. I know, I know, there’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man.

Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans ... Maybe you’re just not lucky!

I’m not saying you don't love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you, and what he’s saying is, “Take a hint.”

1 comment:

The Blog said...

I couldn't help but laugh and post about your "wheel of blame." This administration's whole policy for the past 5 years have been "It's not my fault." It's gotten to the point of where they are blaming Clinton for their mistakes. Unbelievable!